She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
