I just pynch a tree in the face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
