my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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