It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
