those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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