I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
