I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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