I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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