Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
