Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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