She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
