Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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