we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
