what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
