Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
