Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
