I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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