sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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