Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
