he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I stole a fireplace last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Randomize
