Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
