We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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