I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
