Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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