I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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