you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
