Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
