I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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