Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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