i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
