He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
