So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
