I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sorry about my life...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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