she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
