the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize