Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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