I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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