it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
