I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
