I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
