dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize