The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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