What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
