I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
