I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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