I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i came on her dog
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
