Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
