I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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