that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
