A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
