I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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