I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
