Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
