forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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