She's JV to your varsity
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize