That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
