Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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