YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
