somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
