now i know why i became what i already was.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
